When some one else is talking to us, usually we hear somewhere between 25–50% of what the other is saying.
As a conclusion of that, our understanding and decision of what is told to us is going to be most likely incorrect, also there may be a misunderstanding with that other person.
This is called bad listening. It is a habit that most people have, and who are having this habit are loosing a lot of relationships and workplace productivity.
First of all, what is right or wrong, good or bad is more likely depending on the person’s background; there are many factors that may influence the person’s opinion such as age, geographic location, Morality ethics, and customs. It’s useful to put all this in mind when listening to the point of view of another person knowing that his values may be different than yours.
The second thing to know is when some one talks to you and you have negative feelings towards him, you intend to oppose him, on some level they can feel this negative feelings and this will affect the conversation badly by influencing the message you want to deliver, that is because you will have an automatic reflex of self-protection.
On the other hand, if you really try to listen with caring and positive feelings, the person will feel it; as a result an atmosphere of cooperation can be created. This increases the possibility of resolving any conflict. This does not mean you agree with him, but rather understand what he is saying.
There are two main cases of listening, the first one is a regular talk with another person, most of the time we do not listen attentively, and moreover we get distracted as they are half listening, half thinking about something else.
The second case is if we are arguing with some one and we do not agree with him, the listener will assume that he is hearing what is the other person is saying, nevertheless he is not paying attention in fact he is focusing on how he will respond to win the argument.
When listening to someone be aware that you are not just listening to his words but you have to understand the whole message being sent. Remind your self that your goal is to hear what he is saying with concentration.
There are many barriers to active listening; including vocabulary, distraction and limited attention to the speaker, they all have an impact on the conversation.
We listen to learn, to understand, to obtain information, and for enjoyment.
Doing all this listening we should consider being good at it.
Active listening is an important skill we all have to be ware of it and try to learn it.
This skill will be useful for us in a lot situations including consulting, helping other people, management, and negotiation.
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Action steps to improve our listening skills