Today we are going to know the step by step actions to improve our listening skills and to be an active listener.
So what should we do to have this great skill?
1- Show that you are listening. Pause any thing you are doing and pay attention by looking directly to the speaker, avoid to be distracted by environmental factors.
2- Listen not only to the words, but also try listening to the feelings of the person.
3- Focus on the body language. You will receive a lot of information of the message he wants to send.
4- Show interesting to what he is saying. Use facial expressions such as smiling every now and then node and encourage hem to speak by using small verbal comments such as yes, hmm, and uh huh.
Your posture is very important, make sure it is inviting and welcoming.
5- Paraphrase the words he is saying. What we understand from hearing is not always right so asking questions like: “Sounds like you are saying…” or I think you mean that…” is important to be sure that you have got the right message. Ask clarifying questions occasionally, and summarize the speaker’s comments periodically.
6- Do not interrupt.
7- Respond positively and respectfully. Even though you may disagree with speaker but you should start your respond with a positive message with a respective way in order to make him relax and know that he is not in a war, it is just a conversation even if you have a different point of view.
8- Lastly, treat the other person as he or she would want to be treated. Try to understand the person you are talking with and his backgrounds, so you can treat him in the right way.
You may see that these steps are long and hard, well I admit that they are not that easy It takes a lot of concentration and determination, but believe me by practice it will be very easy and you will do it unconsciously and when you are there be sure that you have developed a very important skill that will change your life and speed your success.
Our action step for today is:
Apply our steps of listening when you speak with people; also practice on thinking and speaking more positively. Try it with your close friends and family, after a while you will get familiar with this kind of listening and you will automatically do it with all people.
And remember that your ability to listen will have a positive impact not only on your effectiveness at work and home but also your success in your overall relationships with others.